The following is a sample profile from the book Holy Troublemakers & Unconventional Saints by Daneen Akers.

Glennon Doyle

A young girl named Glennon Doyle sits in a church pew watching the service. Glennon is very good at noticing things, including little things that other children and adults might not pay attention to. She notices that only men lead the service in this Catholic church. She notices that women only seem to be allowed to teach in the Sunday school classes for the children. She notices that not everyone gets invited to receive communion. She notices that she has to wear dressy clothes to church that usually aren’t very comfortable. The other people in church wear fancy clothes too, and most of them don’t look comfortable either. She also notices that everyone smiles in church in a way that often doesn’t feel real. She wonders why people have to pretend to be happy in church with fancy clothes on if God is supposed to see our true selves.

Glennon also notices that some of the Bible stories she is taught—like the story of Adam and Eve—seem to be told in a way that makes girls seem scary or dangerous. Since she knows God is inside her and loves her, she is confused about why this church seems to not trust her—or want her to trust herself.

All of this noticing led Glennon to start believing the lie that good girls don’t speak up, don’t lead, don’t feel emotions except for happiness, and don’t follow their curiosity or ambitions. “I was born a very sensitive kid in a fiercely loving family. I paid attention to everything that the culture tells little girls. The role of perfect little girl was so entrenched in me at such a young age that it became impossible for me to be my true self by the time I was 10. I was trying to meet other people’s expectations and rules rather than being myself.”

It took 15 years of numbing the pain that came from hiding her true self in unhealthy ways before Glennon realized she needed help. She called her sister, and her sister took her to her first recovery meeting, a gathering where people who need help overcoming various types of addictions come together for support. People in that meeting told the truth about themselves and their feelings in a way that Glennon had never heard before. She had thought she was the only person who felt so lost and unhappy. Here people were honest about everything, even their anger, fear, and shame. Glennon could tell that when people shared these feelings, something happened: They became more free.

Being around people who let her feel okay about being her real self gave Glennon energy and courage.

And so Glennon began a slow process of learning to be honest again about who she really is. She realized that she had to go back and remember who she had been as a little girl before she started trying to comply with other people’s expectations of who she should be. She didn’t have to be fake on the outside. She could live with her inside self matching her outside self, and it was so freeing to realize that. “I suddenly realized that my ability to pay attention and feel deeply wasn’t my problem—it was my gift! I didn’t have to pretend not to have these feelings.”

In 2009, Glennon began writing, sharing with her readers in the deep down, honest way that she did in recovery meetings. She was now married, and she and her husband had three children. She wrote honestly about the challenges of motherhood and marriage. Other moms started paying attention. It turned out that a lot of people had grown up trying to comply with the expectations of others instead of being true to themselves. Glennon helped give her readers permission to remember who they really are on the inside.

One of the wonderful things that happened when Glennon began feeling free to tell the truth was that she noticed something new, something powerful. She noticed that everyone alive is connected to one another and belongs to each other. “Jesus talked
a lot about the Kingdom of God being something that we work to live out right here. Kingdom includes the word ‘kin’ which means related. We are all God’s family. It’s about putting us back together again.”

Glennon wanted to help other people notice and remember that we are all connected to each other. In 2012, she started Together Rising, a nonprofit that raises money to help people, especially women and children, who are living in very difficult situations. Glennon announces “Love Flash Mobs” to raise money in one day for a particular person or situation. Thousands and thousands of strangers give small contributions, and together these donations add up to significant amounts of money that make a real difference in thousands of people’s lives. These Love Flash Mobs have helped raise money for disabled children who need service dogs, foster kids who need support, refugee families fleeing war zones, immigrants needing help navigating the U.S. legal system, LGBTQ homeless youth needing shelter, and much more.

Her gift of noticing things that most people don’t notice had led to her noticing people who might otherwise be overlooked. “We are all the ones that we’ve been waiting for,” Glennon likes to say about taking action when we see someone in need of help.

Being true to herself brought other changes to Glennon’s life, too. She is now married to a woman, Abby Wambach, a retired American soccer player who is a two-time Olympic gold medalist and a FIFA Women’s World Cup champion. Glennon and Abby and Glennon’s former husband (who is also a big soccer fan) are raising their three children together. Some people say divorce makes broken families, but Glennon and her family know that actually, now their family is finally fixed! Glennon has a lot more soccer in her life now, but she also has a deep well of joy.

For Glennon, all of this work is connected to knowing that the Divine image is in each person, including herself. “I believe that God is in each person, each child. You are good. God is in you and in every person you meet.”

How can you be true to your real self?

Glossary Terms

Catholic
A person who is a member of the oldest and largest Christian church. Until the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century, the Roman Catholic Church was the only Christian church; it formed after the Roman Emperor Constantine declared Christianity the official religion of the empire in 313 AD and demanded conformity of beliefs among the various Christian groups and a highly organized church structure.

Communion
The act of receiving bread and wine (or, in some churches, crackers and grape juice) in a church service to remember Jesus’s last supper with his disciples; also known as Holy Communion, Eucharist, and The Lord’s Supper.

Culture
The customary beliefs, traditions, art, food, dress, and ideas of a particular people and place.

LGBTQ
The acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer people; other commonly used acronyms for gender and sexual minorities include LGBTQI, LGBTQIA, and LGBTQ+.

Nonprofit
An organization that exists in order to support a particular cause and works for that cause rather than for financial gain.

Recovery Meetings
Gatherings where people with addictions come together for support, accountability, honest sharing, and healing.